Many newlyweds think the first year of marriage will be like a fairytale – full of passion, love and sex just like they did on their honeymoon! But unfortunately, the honeymoon period is soon over in just a couple of month and regular, routine life soon kicks in. Issues begin to develop and problems begin to occur in just the first year of the marriage. Finances, family problems and many more issues start to develop. Given this case, what kind of marriage advice can be given to a newlywed to survive and battle the many surprises of their first year of marriage?
Firstly, don’t let the fact that you are married mean you can’t still have dates. Dating DOES NOT have to end just because you signed a marriage license. It is important and essential that you spend one-on-one time with just your spouse. This allows for the two of you to enjoy each other’s company by doing activities that you both like. This can also be the time that you can just talk about each other’s concerns or problems and strengthen the bond in your marriage.
Another marriage tip for newlyweds is keep your arguments between just the two of you. Often newlyweds fight in front of their friends and family creating a public fiasco. When you fight in front of family and friends, you give them an opportunity to form an opinion of yourself as well as your spouse. This opinion may linger with your family and friends for weeks, months and sometimes forever. You and your spouse will make up, but the damage has been done in the eyes of other. Also, why air your problems out in the open? Keep your married life discreet; all arguments must be between you and your spouses only! Make this a number one rule.
Another useful tip is to always, always be patient with your spouse. You are both new to married life and living with each other calls for a lot of understanding and patience. You share money, living quarters, bills and responsibilities. You both have your own way of doing things, but once together, be patient and work together as a team. As time goes by, you will notice how working together can make life easier and much more enjoyable for both of you. Something as minor as not putting the cap on the toothpaste can be overlooked when there are much bigger issues that can be dealt with.
Create time apart from one another. Newlywed couples think that when they get married they will spend all their free time with their spouse. It is great to spend time with your spouse, but everyone needs their own ‘alone’ time as well with their own friends and family. Having your own space is healthy as it strengthens your marriage by adding trust. Plus, who doesn’t want time to do what they want to do, even if it is just being alone enjoying quiet time?
Love is not enough for a marriage to succeed. A successful marriage takes work and effort. Every marriage will go through challenges. There isn’t a marriage that is one hundred percent problem free. To keep your marriage healthy and thriving, always make your spouse a priority. If you are facing a big marital problem, don’t be ashamed or feel helpless about it; instead seek marriage help even if it is through a friend or parent.
Newly married couples must remember that they are embarking on a new life and the road isn’t always going to be wonderful. Just like anything worth having, marriage takes a lot of hard work and dedication. When you signed your marriage license you probably thought that your life would always be a fairytale, but unfortunately it isn’t. There will be fairytale moments, of course, but there will be challenges as well that you must overcome.
Take time and enjoy one another and before you know it, you will be celebrating your 25th anniversary and laughing about your first years of marriage.
Malini Bhatia is the founder of Marriage.com, a trusted resource helping millions of couples resolve their marriage issues and problems. Marriage.com connects advice-seekers with experts through its community and trusted content written by experienced marriage therapists and counsellors. Malini’s professional background is in business & marketing with a passion for helping people develop and maintain positive relationships. Malini lives in Los Angeles with her husband & two daughters.